Cherishing Disappointment

I’ve been thinking about disappointment lately.  Not the kind that I’ve experienced, but disappointment that others have experienced, and in some cases as a result of my behavior or choices.

The dictionary defines disappoint as: to fail to satisfy the hope, desire or expectations of.

It has been five years since the last time I saw or spoke to my father.  He wrote me a letter in 2010 detailing the ways in which I have disappointed him by my choices and the direction my life has gone.  Since that letter, he has ignored all of my attempts to contact him.

For my father has forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. ~Psalm 27:10

Last summer a girlfriend believed that I was not handling a trial {a trying set of circumstances} in a spiritually mature fashion.  She rebuked me verbally and followed it up with an email which laid out biblical principles to support her position.  Without seeking a response or understanding from me, she went on to withdraw her presence and companionship from my life.

Love is ever-ready to believe the best of every person. ~ I Corinthians 13:7 Amplified

Yesterday I received a curt email from a former co-worker and friend who insomuch inferred that he felt slighted that I did not reply to an email he had sent; {I wrote him nine days later, but did not click reply, instead I created a new message and apparently I did not address or respond to all he had written}.  Additionally, during those nine days, he decided to simplify his life and included me in a major Facebook un-friending edit.

Love is not touchy. ~ I Corinthians 13:5 Amplified

Hurt feelings.


Perceived slights.


Unmet expectations.

Sheesh, it’s everywhere… and I’m sick of it.

Is disappointment really something that we should be holding on to?  Should we be cherishing it to the point that we back away or cut people out of our lives?  And if we do back away or withdraw from that friendship or relationship, are we doing it because we fear being hurt or disappointed again, or are we trying to punish that person?

In all three of the scenarios I mentioned above, I felt as thought I was {in part} being punished.

I copied this down from something that Beth Moore published either on her blog or Twitter: “If we insist on nurturing and coddling our disappointment rather than moving on through it, it can burgeon into a full blown identity.  We end up wearing a sign that says, ‘I am so disappointed’, and we will be and continue to be, and people will back away one by one.  Write a new sign: Romans 5:5”

So we can either insist and persist in disappointment, or we can move on through it.

One big problem of holding on to disappointment: you fail to realize your ability to disappoint people yourself.  If you’re so busy holding on to and defending why you were let down by so-and-so, your perspective does not include the humility needed to realize you are equally capable of letting someone down.

I have no control over anyone else but me.  So, in light of all that I’ve written and all that I’m processing & pondering in my heart, I think one of the best things I can do is to come away from this prayerfully asking The Lord to help me not be the kind of person who cherishes disappointment.

This morning while driving to work, I was thinking about people that are not in my life anymore.  And the Holy Spirit reminded me that The Lord will prune relationships that are not bearing fruit.  And then my perspective shifted a bit to consider that maybe instead of fearing that I’m missing out, it is a gift that I’m missing out.  What additional heartache might The Lord’s pruning be sparing me from?

“Don’t be discouraged when people let you down.  The disappointment of man might just be God’s divine appointment for your life.” ~Joseph Prince